WEDDING GIFTS

We all love to receive gifts, but with respect to a wedding, we should try to focus on what a wedding really means. No, I don’t mean, “Gee, free stuff; the more the better.” A wedding is about the joining of two people who love each other so much that they pledge their lives to each other forever and they want to make this commitment with friends and family present. This is a profound act worthy of respect. So, let’s review a bit of wedding etiquette as it relates to the all-important wedding gift.

· Never mention gifts (gift choices or gift registry) on the invitation.

· To publicize your registry information use a wedding website or ‘word of mouth.’
The one exception is the bridal shower invitation - list it there

· Ask for cash gifts or gift certificates by ‘word of mouth’ and your wedding website.

· Honeymoon registries are appropriate.

· Do not use any of the gifts until after a wedding.
All gifts, even shower gifts, must be returned if the wedding is cancelled or annulled before living together as a married couple.

· Gift giving for vow renewal or reaffirmation ceremonies are not mandatory, but is a nice gesture.

· Life style gifts are perfect for the reaffirmation, or for the encore bride.

· Certificates to a spa or a favorite restaurant

· Vacation package

· A night in a nice lodge

MOTHER OF THE GROOM RESPONSIBILITIES (part 2)

Reservations for out-of-town guests, invited by the groom's family, are the responsibility of the mother of the groom. It will be much more convenient if a block of rooms are reserved at a nearby hotel, which is near her home.
It is the responsibility of the groom's parents to host the rehearsal dinner. This can be as simple as a salad potluck with paper plates in the backyard or as elaborate as an exotic dinner with live entertainment in the finest restaurant. Everyone who takes a part in the ceremony is invited to the dinner. It is proper etiquette to invite the spouse or significant other of those participating, and the parents of children in the wedding.
Scheduled family photographs, prior to the wedding, will dictate the groom's parent’s time of arrival. If photos are not scheduled to be taken before the ceremony, the arrival should be no less than one hour before the appointed time
As the wedding begins, the head usher or a groomsman who is a family member will escort the groom’s mother down the aisle, to the first pew, right-hand side. A nice touch includes the groom escorting his mother down the aisle. As the groom's mother is escorted to her seat, her husband will follow along behind. However, if the parents are divorced, the father of the groom will have been seated previously, two pews behind the mother.
The role as mother of the groom, in the ceremony, may include lighting the family candle on the altar, along with the mother of the bride. Family candles are lit after the candle lighters have left the altar area, and prior to the entrance of the wedding party.
The first official duty of the mother of the groom, during the reception is to stand in the receiving line greeting guests and introducing her friends and family to the bride and her family. Traditionally she stands between the bride and her mother. If the fathers of the couple choose to stand in the line, she will stand between them.
Be familiar with the responsibilities of the Maid of Honor. You may want to have a conversation with the Maid of Honor to coordinate and avoid stepping on each other's toes.

MOTHER OF THE GROOM RESPONSIBILITIES (part 1)

The mother of the groom is often at a loss as to exactly what role she plays in the marriage of her son. This is even more true when she has not participated previously in a wedding for a daughter or other sibling. The following rules of etiquette are shared to increase the joy and fulfill the traditional responsibilities of the mother of the groom.
The first rule of etiquette to be followed upon receiving news of the impending nuptials is to initiate contact between the families. Introducing herself and her husband to the bride's parents is her first responsibility. This may be as simple as making a call to the bride's mother and telling her how happy she is about the engagement or an informal invitation to dinner at their home. If preferred, dinner at a nice restaurant is always in order. This may be with or without the couple in attendance.
If the parents live far away, a friendly letter is appropriate. A snapshot of the family and maybe even one of her son as a small child is always welcomed by the bride's mother and is a kind gesture.
The importance of providing an accurate and timely guest list can neither be over emphasized, nor the importance of sticking to the guidelines given her as to the number of guests she many invite. Remember to include zip codes.
It is the bride's mother who will first select a dress for her daughters wedding. The mother of the groom then chooses a gown of complimentary color and similar styling. She must wear long if the bride's mother wears long or short if she wears short. The color should not match the bridesmaids, nor the brides' mother, but compliment both.

MOTHER OF THE BRIDE RESPONSIBILITIES

The Primary responsibility of the Mother of the Bride is to see that the bride's wishes are carried out the bride's way. It will be your responsibility to help the bride plan her wedding with her tastes in mind…not yours, unless, it is the true desire of the bride to "let mom run things."

Help the bride select her wedding attire. Remember, this is not your wedding. If you find yourself talking the bride out of a gown she loves, you may be overreaching.
Help the bride and groom decide on a wedding budget. Settling money issues upfront is always best. A good clear budget will help everyone with their expectations.
In the event that the Mother of the Groom does not contact you, you will make the first contact.
See that the guest lists are put together. The invitations must be ordered as soon as possible, and the guest list will be critical in making your invitation order.
Reservations for out-of-town guests, invited by the bride's family, are the responsibility of the mother of the bride. It will be much more convenient if a block of rooms are reserved at a nearby hotel, which is near her home.
Choose your gown for the wedding day. Immediately tell the Mother of the Groom the colors and style so that she may begin looking for a complimentary gown. Send a swatch of material to the Mother of Groom if possible.
See that instructions for the actual ceremony are given. This includes the seating schedule and the receiving line at reception, as well as any special touches the bride may choose to have at her wedding.
The role as mother of the bride, in the ceremony, may include lighting the family candle on the altar, along with the mother of the groom. Family candles are lit after the candle lighters have left the altar area, and prior to the entrance of the wedding party.
Find a trusted friend or family member who is not in the wedding party to assist you throughout the wedding. You are the hostess for the entire event! Find someone who will help you with some of the details…sometimes a professional is best.
Be familiar with the responsibilities of the Maid of Honor. You may want to have a conversation with the Maid of Honor to coordinate and avoid stepping on each other's toes.

RULES OF ETIQUETTE FOR MOTHER’S ATTIRE

• Tradition holds that the mother of the bride chooses a dress first, followed by the mother of the groom. Their dresses should complement each other, as well as the bridal party. For instance, having one mother in a floor length dress and another in a mini-skirt is a major no-no. Likewise, your mother wearing an orange dress next to your bridesmaid’s light green ensembles are bound to make your wedding pictures look tacky. While your moms shouldn’t be wearing the same style and color, their dresses should coordinate.
• Generally, at formal weddings, your mother and mother-in-law should be in floor or tea-length dresses. Semi-formal or informal weddings allow them to get more creative with the length, but they still need to make sure they are complementing one another.
• Unless your bridesmaids will be wearing black, a mother of the bride or groom should avoid this color. Until recently, black at weddings was considered a social blunder and many guests will still look at the color choice with suspicion. Steer them away from choosing a color that will raise eyebrows as to whether or not they approve of the marriage.
• Don’t forget to finish the look with a matching corsage or a small bouquet

GROOMSMEN & USHER RESPONSIBILITIES (part 2)

Ushers distribute any programs or ceremony handouts at the ceremony. Ushers direct those bringing gifts to the ceremony to a gift table. If there is a guest book at the ceremony, ushers direct guest to sign it.
After all guest are seated, the ushers escort the groom's parents to the front row on the groom's side (Unless they are part of the processional.) Lastly, they escort the bride's mother to her seat, unless she is a accompanying her husband in the processional.
Once everyone is seated, the groomsmen unroll the aisle runner in readiness for the processional. The Groomsmen may be part of the processional or they may take positions in the front with the best man or groom. They stand near the groom during the ceremony. They are in formal Photographs of the bridal party. They Escort the bridesmaids from the ceremony in the recessional. One of the ushers should be responsible to roll the aisle runner back up after the ceremony and have it cleaned and returned.
One of the ushers should collect any leftover handouts or programs and see that they get returned to the couple who may want to send them to family or friends who were unable to attend. At the Reception
Ushers may be part of the receiving lines in the very formal or formal weddings. Ushers may be seated at the head table or a table of honor at the reception. During the reception, groomsmen mingle with the guest. Groomsmen dance with the bridesmaids at the reception.
They assist by encouraging single young men to participate in catching the garter. Groomsmen or ushers pay for their own formalwear and accessories. If travel expenses are involved, they pay their own costs involved in getting to the wedding and staying in town during the celebration. Although groomsmen may attend several pre-wedding parties, only one shower gift and one wedding gift are to be expected. Groomsmen may share the cost of the bachelor party with the best man.

GROOMSMEN & USHER RESPONSIBILITIES (part 1)

Groomsmen:
Pays for their own wedding attire
Attends rehearsal and rehearsal dinner
Attends bachelor dinner if there is one
Escorts bridesmaids during the ceremony

Ushers:
Pay for own wedding attire
Make sure principles have flowers before being seated (unless this task is assigned to another).
Distribute wedding programs (unless this task is assigned to another).
Seat guests on appropriate side of church.
Assist elderly guests to seats.
After all guests are seated, unroll aisle carpet.
Check church or synagogue for any items left behind.

The number of ushers is usually determined by the size of the wedding. One usher can comfortably seat about fifty guests.

Ushers are usually brothers, relatives or best friends of the groom. In inviting people to serve as ushers, make sure that they are aware of the expenses involved.

While it is not necessary to have an equal number if ushers and bridesmaids, it does balance nicely if they walk in pairs in either the processional or recessional.

Groomsmen usually help the best man plan the bachelor party for the groom.
Groomsmen attend pre-wedding parties.
Groomsmen attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.

The main Job of the usher is to seat guests. They should arrive at the ceremony site at least one hour in advance and should have clear instructions on the seating plan. In Christian Ceremonies, the bride's family and guest sit on the left and the groom's on the right. In Jewish services, the seating is opposite, with the bride's family on the right. Female guests are escorted by having the usher offer his right arm to her. Her date or spouse walks behind. Male guests are lead to their seats. If there are pew cards being used or a special reserved section, ushers should pay special attention as they escort these guests to their seats.

RINGBEARER & TRAINBEARER RESPONSIBILITIES

Neither of these is required positions and may be boys or girls. Usually only one ring bearer is used, but two with one ring per pillow will work if you have and abundance of four or five year children that you would like to have involved in the ceremony. Although the rings on the pillows are usually not he actual wedding rings, you could have two ring bearers if you are having a double ring ceremony, one for the bride and one for the groom. Trainbearer or pages usually walk in pairs but a single trainbearer can be used.

If ring bearers and trainbearer are little boys they are not likely to be interested in any pre--wedding parties. If they are girls, they might want to attend the shower and some other parties.
They attend the rehearsal and may attend the rehearsal dinner with their families.
The ring bearers (s) carries a pillow with a ring or rings sewn to it. (These are usually not the real wedding rings but symbolic ones for show only.)
The ring bearer (s) walks either directly in front of or besides the flower girl (s) in the processional and the recessional.

If real rings are tied to the pillow the ring bearer takes the pillow directly to the maid or honor and the best man who will remove the rings. The trainbearers follow the bride in the processional and recessional, and carry the bridal train.

During the ceremony, the ring & train bearers may stand near the ushers or sit with their families.
They are in the formal Photographs of the bridal party.
Ring and train Bearers do not usually stand in the reception line.
Ring and trainbearers usually sit at a table of honor with their families.

Families of ring and train bearers are expected to pay for attire.
If travel expenses are involved, the children's families pick up these costs.

Ring and train bearers are not expected to bring gifts to any pre-wedding parties they may attend. If their parents attend gifts expectations would be the same as any other guest. If they attend more than one party, only one shower gift is expected.

FLOWER GIRL RESPONSIBILITIES

You may choose one or two little girls to be flower girls. The best age range is between four and eight. (Although younger ones are cute, they can create some real challenges during a processional or ceremony.) If you choose two girls, it looks nice if they are about the same size, but that may not be possible. It can be a special honor for a child to be chosen as part of you wedding.

Flower girls attend the shower and some pre-wedding parties.
They attend the rehearsal and may attend the rehearsal dinner with their families.
Flower girls walk directly in front of the bride in the processional and in front of the maid of honor in the recessional.

As flower girls walk down the aisle, they may scatter flower or rose petals. If petals are not permitted, sometimes flower girls will hand out single flowers to guest as they walk, or they may just carry a bouquet, a ring of flowers or a pomander ball.

During the ceremony, flower girls may stand near the bridesmaids or may sit with their families. Younger ones probably will do better sitting with their families.

They are in the formal photographs of the bridal parties.
Flower girls do not usually stand in the reception line.
Flower girls usually sit at a table of honor with their families rather than at the head table.
Flower girls may dance with family members, friends or other members of the wedding party if they choose to do so.

Families of flower girls are expected to pay for dresses and other attire.
If travel expenses are involved, the girls' family pick up these costs.

Flower girls are not expected to bring a gift to pre-wedding parties they may attend. If their parents attend, gift expectations would be the same as any other guest. If they attend more than one shower or party, only one shower gift is expected.

Flower girls are not responsible for helping financially with bridal shower

BESTMANS RESPONSIBILITIES (part 3)

The Best Man is responsible to make the first toast to the bride and groom at the wedding.
The Best Man is also responsible to make the first toast at the rehearsal dinner. PLEASE note…if you are the best man, you must give the first toast at the reception to the couple, not just the groom. If a person does not know the bride or groom and still wants to give a toast, they must acknowledge the other half, as in, “Though we’ve just met Tony, he seems like a wonderful guy and he obviously makes Samantha very happy … etc.” You can still tell the boating story from when you were 13, but it better end with them.

The Best Man should act as a host, making introductions when necessary and helping to make the guests feel welcome.

The Best Man should dance at the reception with the bride, both mothers and as many of the bridal attendants and guest as possible.

Help the groom change into his travel clothes after the reception. Find out when the bride is ready to leave and with the maid/matron of honors, help the bride and groom depart.

Return the groom's tuxedo to the tux shop or if it belongs to the groom, be responsible for taking it to the cleaners.

Order flowers for the bride and groom's room at the first stop of the honeymoon trip.

Another responsibility of the Best Man may include the signing of the marriage certificate. This is not only a legal document but also a beautiful keepsake for the couple. Many times, the Best Man is not aware that his signature may be required and he may be off with the guests.

Note about ring bearer: The Best Man has the responsibility of carrying the bride's wedding ring. However, many times the couple will also want to have a ring bearer. We recommend that the "real" ring be kept safe in the pocket of the Best Man. Why? Just remember the boy with stage fright who never made it down the aisle…or even better, the ring bearer who argued with the Best Man when he tried to remove the ring and then cried his eyes out when the Best Man took it away.

BESTMANS RESPONSIBILITIES (part 2)

Make absolutely sure that the groom has the marriage license with him.
Receive the minister's fee from the groom and give it to the minister privately following the ceremony.
Help the groom pack for his honeymoon.
Help the groom dress for the ceremony.

If a ring bearer is to be in the wedding, the Best Man is responsible to oversee the child and be sure he understands his duties. (See note below)

Assist with luggage arrangements for both the bride and the groom so that everything will be ready for their departure.

Make sure car or travel arrangements are set and that the groom is carrying any necessary reservations, tickets, money and travelers checks.

The Best Man will want to ride to the church with the groom. It is the Best Man's responsibility to make sure the ushers are together and ready before the ceremony begins. Many weddings have been delayed by dilly dallying ushers who are either cutting up to relieve the tension they feel or are out having the last quick puff on a cigarette.

Alert ushers as to the ladies who will be wearing flowers and make sure they are not seated before receiving them.

Check all the men's boutonnieres. These should always be worn on the left lapel, stem down.
Perform any task or errand the groom or the bride's mother may request at the church.
If applicable, remind the groom to remove his gloves as the bride comes down the aisle.
Be first at the reception in order to welcome the bride and groom.

BESTMANS RESPONSIBILITIES (part 1)

Assists groom with all details of the wedding day!
Pays for own attire
Transports groom to the church.
Supervises the grooms men, regarding their dress and duties at ceremony
Takes care of bride's ring until ceremony
Presents the clergyperson with fee
Signs and witnesses the marriage certificate
Offers the first toast to the bride and groom
Dances with the bride after the groom and both fathers have danced with her
Prepares the honeymoon car, packs suitcases in car
Holds for safe-keeping, any tickets, keys, etc. for the groom
Returns groom's tuxedo to rental shop

BRIDESMAID RESPONSIBILITIES

Purchases and completes fittings of gownsPerforms tasks as assigned by brideAttends rehearsal and rehearsal dinnerBridesmaids are usually close friends or family members. When inviting them, make them aware that there are costs involved as well as a time commitment. It is an honor to be asked, but may also be a financial burden. Make friends feel special when you invite them to be part of your wedding.
The number of bridesmaids usually depends on the formality of your wedding, with a dozen being the maximum for any wedding. Girls between 8 and 16 are considered to be junior bridesmaids. Junior bridesmaids are not expected to help with details as much as bridesmaids.

Bridesmaids help take care of details for the bride such as running errands, making table decorations or favors.

They usually join the maid of honor in hosting a bridal shower, attend pre-wedding parties and attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.
Bridesmaids walk in the processional and recessional, either single file, two together or with an usher They stand near the bride during the ceremony. They are in formal photographs of the bridal party. Bridesmaids pay for their own dresses and other attire.If travel expenses are involved, they pay their own cost involved in getting to the wedding and staying in town during the celebration. Although bridesmaids may attend several pre-wedding parties, only one shower gift and one wedding gift are to be expected. Bridesmaids share the cost of the bridal shower with the maid of honor.

MAID/MATRON OF HONOR RESPONSIBILITIES

The maid or matron of honor is usually a sister or very close friend. Choose someone dependable.

Helps the bride with shopping, invitations and other details as requested
Attends all pre-wedding events
Pays for own wedding attire
Takes charge of groom's ring during ceremony
Witnesses, signs wedding certificate
Helps bride in arranging veil and dress at ceremony and reception
Returns bride's gown to designated place after wedding

The maid of Honor may plan your wedding and take care of details for you. If she lives nearby she might help address invitations, plan pre-wedding parties, make favors or table decorations, and keep track of gifts received and thank you cards sent. The maid of honor usually hosts a bridal shower. The bride can delegate care of bridesmaid's fittings and details. She attends pre-wedding parties. She attends the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner.
The maid of honor helps the bride with dressing and assists with the, train, veil and holding the brides bouquet during the ceremony. The maid of honor wears the grooms ring on her thumb (or carries it in some other safe manner) until it is time for the blessing and exchange of rings in the ceremony. She is responsible for having an emergency kit with miscellaneous items such as a needle and thread, extra nylons, a roll of tape etc. The maid of honor holds on to a duplicate list of desired shots for the photographer and Videographer as well as a song list for ceremony musicians and a copy of any special prayers or readings to be used during the ceremony. She walks in front of the bride in the processional and with the best man in the recessional and stands near the bride at the altar. She makes sure that all of the bride's clothing, make-up and personal belongings are removed from the changing room at the ceremony site and taken back to the bride's home. She helps to line up bridesmaids for formal photographs.

The maid of Honor stands next to the groom in very formal receiving lines. The maid of honor is seated at the head table or table of honor. During the reception, she mingles with guest.She dances with the best man at the reception. She helps the bride with her train, fastening it to floor length so it is out of the way for dancing, if necessary. The maid of honor keeps a duplicate copy of the list of names and pronunciations for the bridal party announcements. She also keeps a duplicate song list for the reception musicians or disc jockey. If the bride needs assistance in tossing her bouquet or in gathering single women to catch it, the maid of honor can help out. If requested, she helps the bride dress for the honeymoon and makes sure the bridal gown and other personal clothing items are returned to the bride's home after the reception. She takes the bridal bouquet for preserving and may take the gown for heir looming while the bride is on her honeymoon

The maid or matron of honor pays for her own dress and other attire. If travel expenses are involved, she pays for her own way. Although she may attend several pre-wedding parties, only one shower gift and one wedding gift are to be expected. She may share the cost of bridal shower.

WHO PAYS FOR WHAT?

OKAY, THE REALLY BIG QUESTION? WHO PAYS FOR WHAT?
Working out a budget for your wedding is one of the first things that should be done, once the date is set. Will the ceremony be formal, semiformal or informal? Who pays for what? Unlike a decade ago, the lines are no longer rigidly drawn. Some modern social rules are obvious (no invitations, no exceptions) and some less so (pregnant brides/unwed mothers are not supposed to wear a veil).
There are no longer any hard and fast rules as to "Who Pays for What", but a general guideline follows as to the traditional breakdown:

Bride's Family:
All Reception Costs
Church Fees
Groom's Rings
Invitations
Flowers for Church, Bridesmaids and Reception
Music for Ceremony
Transportation for Bridal Party
Gifts for Bridal Party
Groom's Gift
Lodging for Bridesmaids, if necessary
Bridal Party:
Your Attire
The Shower
If you're from out-of-town, Transportation to the Town the wedding is in
Gift for the Couple
Groom's Family:
Bride's Ring
Clergy Fees
Bride's Bouquet, Corsages and Boutonnieres
Rehearsal Dinner
Transportation for Groomsmen
Gifts for Groomsmen
Bride's Gift
Lodging for Groomsmen, if necessary
Groomsmen:
Your Attire
The Stag
If you're from out-of-town, Transportation to the Town the wedding is in
Gift for the Couple

JUST A FEW RULES FOR THE GUESTS

* Don't assume that the couple knows you're coming to their wedding. You must send back your reply card before the "Reply by" date. Failing this simple task is incredibly rude and insensitive.
* If the invitation specifically states: “John Smith and Guest” then you may certainly bring someone. If the invitation is addressed to you and you only, you may not bring a guest. However, if you too have found The One and would like to bring him/her along, phone the bride and ask her permission. * If you have declined an invitation, you are not expected to send a gift.
* If you arrive at the church during the procession, you should wait until the bride has gone down the aisle before entering. Also, don't peek through the doors to watch because you'll be in her photos.
* If you are late for the ceremony, you should walk down an outside aisle and find a seat quickly and quietly.
* If you are of a different faith, you are not required to participate in the rituals, but if you want to that's fine.
* You have to buy the couple a gift.
* The gift should be something that they can both use.
* If you have sent a wedding gift through the mail, then you don't have to bring another one to the reception.
* It's wise to give a cash gift to couples that are getting married out-of-town because they will have to ship everything back home and that's an added cost to them.
* Many couples that have lived together for awhile will not register for gifts. That's because they already have everything they need. In this case, cash in a wedding card is appropriate.
* Guests pay for their own transportation and lodgings.

IF YOU'RE WEARING GLOVES

Gloves give your wedding attire such an elegant look. You can take them off sometime before you put on your wedding ring and hand them to your maid of honor. She'll give them back to you at an appropriate time. It's appropriate to wear your gloves in the receiving line and the first dance. When it comes time to eat and party, the gloves come off!

THE DREADED RECEPTION SEATING PLAN

* Don't seat battling relatives together.
* So that everyone has a good time, seat teens together, aunts and uncles together, etc. Try seating groups either by their relationship to you or by their ages.
* As for the head table, the rule has changed so often that there isn't one anymore. You and your better half can sit at a raised table with your wedding party below you. You can have your own table with a table on either side of you with your wedding party. You and your husband in the middle of a long table with men on one side and women on the other, or boy, girl, boy, girl. Parents and grandparents at the table or not, it's up to you.
* Stick to table numbers. Famous couples, places you've been, etc., are hard to see from across the room. We've heard many complaints by guests at weddings, when they have to search for their tables.
* Reserved tables are all you need. Why put yourself through the extra work of having a reserved chair for each guest? It just gives people something else to complain about.
* It's a good idea to have a "Reserved" card at the parents seats. They are the only ones that need preferred seating.

WEDDING GIFTS

Please keep this in mind when considering the wedding gift:
* It is considered rude to put "cash only gifts", or other wording meaning the same thing on the invitation.
* You're not supposed to put registry information on your wedding invitation. It's left up to friends and family to inform everyone. However, you can put gift information on an insert in your bridal shower invitations.
* If you have a personal wedding website with info for bridal party and guests (and gift registry info), you can include an insert with the link to your website in your wedding invitation.
* You're not required to open your gifts at the reception or in front of anyone.

OTHER INVITATION STUFF

More invitation things to keep in mind:
* If someone hasn't responded to your invitation, 1 week past the "Reply by" date, call him or her and confirm over the phone.
* Children over the age of 16 get their own invitations.
* Your officiant and their better half get an invitation
* Send your parents and wedding party invitations, as a keepsake. They don't have to reply.
* You have to put return postage on your RSVP's.
* Never give a verbal invitation to your wedding without following it up with a formal invite via U.S. mail.
* Furthermore, make sure you add that person’s name to the final guest list.

INVITATIONS & CHILDREN (OR NOT)

It is considered poor taste to have the invitation clarify “no children”. It also begs the questions, “How old is a child?” Does this means 12 or under? You may want to add a note apologizing and clarifying that the request was made for monetary concerns. If you are resolute in this decision, then stick to your own rule; any exceptions will result in hurt feelings. When addressing your invitations, leave the children’s names off and don’t mention them in the invitation. Also, have friends and family pass the word…let the network work.

If you don't want children at your wedding, you have 2 options:
* When addressing your invitations, leave the children's names off it and also don't mention them in the invitation.
* Have friends and family pass the word around that you don't want children there.

Just how many people really know or understand etiquette? In some cases you have to cut straight to the chase and say what you mean. We suggest adding one of these phrases to the bottom of your reply card:
* Adult Reception
* We hope that the (# of) of you will be able to join us
* (# of) seats have been reserved in your names

COCTAILS AT RECEPTION

Limit the time gap between your ceremony and the reception. Having folks happily mingle at a pre-dinner cocktail party is a wonderful plan…for one hour. Anything longer and guests are just going to get sauced and impatient.

WEDDING POOCH

Try to resist the urge to involve helpless animals in your wedding. This is usually a disaster! Remember...this is a NEW inviorment with lots of people and new smells. That wonderfully, well-behaved pooch has suddenly become uncontrollable (what a way to ruin your wedding day!).

CANDLE CEREMONY VS SAND CEREMONY

An important consideration for outdoor weddings....NO CANDLE CEREMONY! Candles are difficult, if not impossible, to light outdoors (or staying lit). A Sand Ceremony would be better suited for an outdoor event and makes a beautiful keepsake :o)

OUTDOOR WEDDING TIPS

If you are having an outdoor wedding (sand or grass) the bride should NOT plan on wearing high-heeled shoes. I have seen this many times….the bride has difficulty walking in the sand or grass with her heels on, so she takes them off. Now her dress is TOO long and she trips over it as she is walking down the aisle. So, in this case the bride should NOT plan on wearing high-heeled shoes.

AFFORDABLE & STRESS FREE WEDDING!

Here is a testimonial from one of our couples this last summer:
We've just had the best expierence ever! We decided to have our wedding and reception in Santa Barbara. Nothing too big (just 50 people). We were about to give up when we came across "I do Vows". They had some great wedding packages and their prices were VERY reasonable. They took care of everything for the wedding AND reception! We were not looking for a full tilt boogie event, just something nice and we got exactly that. I just couldn't wait to tell everyone how easy it was. And I have to give the Heimbach's a great big thank you!