WEDDING GIFTS

We all love to receive gifts, but with respect to a wedding, we should try to focus on what a wedding really means. No, I don’t mean, “Gee, free stuff; the more the better.” A wedding is about the joining of two people who love each other so much that they pledge their lives to each other forever and they want to make this commitment with friends and family present. This is a profound act worthy of respect. So, let’s review a bit of wedding etiquette as it relates to the all-important wedding gift.

· Never mention gifts (gift choices or gift registry) on the invitation.

· To publicize your registry information use a wedding website or ‘word of mouth.’
The one exception is the bridal shower invitation - list it there

· Ask for cash gifts or gift certificates by ‘word of mouth’ and your wedding website.

· Honeymoon registries are appropriate.

· Do not use any of the gifts until after a wedding.
All gifts, even shower gifts, must be returned if the wedding is cancelled or annulled before living together as a married couple.

· Gift giving for vow renewal or reaffirmation ceremonies are not mandatory, but is a nice gesture.

· Life style gifts are perfect for the reaffirmation, or for the encore bride.

· Certificates to a spa or a favorite restaurant

· Vacation package

· A night in a nice lodge

JUST A FEW RULES FOR THE GUESTS

* Don't assume that the couple knows you're coming to their wedding. You must send back your reply card before the "Reply by" date. Failing this simple task is incredibly rude and insensitive.
* If the invitation specifically states: “John Smith and Guest” then you may certainly bring someone. If the invitation is addressed to you and you only, you may not bring a guest. However, if you too have found The One and would like to bring him/her along, phone the bride and ask her permission. * If you have declined an invitation, you are not expected to send a gift.
* If you arrive at the church during the procession, you should wait until the bride has gone down the aisle before entering. Also, don't peek through the doors to watch because you'll be in her photos.
* If you are late for the ceremony, you should walk down an outside aisle and find a seat quickly and quietly.
* If you are of a different faith, you are not required to participate in the rituals, but if you want to that's fine.
* You have to buy the couple a gift.
* The gift should be something that they can both use.
* If you have sent a wedding gift through the mail, then you don't have to bring another one to the reception.
* It's wise to give a cash gift to couples that are getting married out-of-town because they will have to ship everything back home and that's an added cost to them.
* Many couples that have lived together for awhile will not register for gifts. That's because they already have everything they need. In this case, cash in a wedding card is appropriate.
* Guests pay for their own transportation and lodgings.

WEDDING GIFTS

Please keep this in mind when considering the wedding gift:
* It is considered rude to put "cash only gifts", or other wording meaning the same thing on the invitation.
* You're not supposed to put registry information on your wedding invitation. It's left up to friends and family to inform everyone. However, you can put gift information on an insert in your bridal shower invitations.
* If you have a personal wedding website with info for bridal party and guests (and gift registry info), you can include an insert with the link to your website in your wedding invitation.
* You're not required to open your gifts at the reception or in front of anyone.