MOTHER OF THE GROOM RESPONSIBILITIES (part 2)

Reservations for out-of-town guests, invited by the groom's family, are the responsibility of the mother of the groom. It will be much more convenient if a block of rooms are reserved at a nearby hotel, which is near her home.
It is the responsibility of the groom's parents to host the rehearsal dinner. This can be as simple as a salad potluck with paper plates in the backyard or as elaborate as an exotic dinner with live entertainment in the finest restaurant. Everyone who takes a part in the ceremony is invited to the dinner. It is proper etiquette to invite the spouse or significant other of those participating, and the parents of children in the wedding.
Scheduled family photographs, prior to the wedding, will dictate the groom's parent’s time of arrival. If photos are not scheduled to be taken before the ceremony, the arrival should be no less than one hour before the appointed time
As the wedding begins, the head usher or a groomsman who is a family member will escort the groom’s mother down the aisle, to the first pew, right-hand side. A nice touch includes the groom escorting his mother down the aisle. As the groom's mother is escorted to her seat, her husband will follow along behind. However, if the parents are divorced, the father of the groom will have been seated previously, two pews behind the mother.
The role as mother of the groom, in the ceremony, may include lighting the family candle on the altar, along with the mother of the bride. Family candles are lit after the candle lighters have left the altar area, and prior to the entrance of the wedding party.
The first official duty of the mother of the groom, during the reception is to stand in the receiving line greeting guests and introducing her friends and family to the bride and her family. Traditionally she stands between the bride and her mother. If the fathers of the couple choose to stand in the line, she will stand between them.
Be familiar with the responsibilities of the Maid of Honor. You may want to have a conversation with the Maid of Honor to coordinate and avoid stepping on each other's toes.

MOTHER OF THE GROOM RESPONSIBILITIES (part 1)

The mother of the groom is often at a loss as to exactly what role she plays in the marriage of her son. This is even more true when she has not participated previously in a wedding for a daughter or other sibling. The following rules of etiquette are shared to increase the joy and fulfill the traditional responsibilities of the mother of the groom.
The first rule of etiquette to be followed upon receiving news of the impending nuptials is to initiate contact between the families. Introducing herself and her husband to the bride's parents is her first responsibility. This may be as simple as making a call to the bride's mother and telling her how happy she is about the engagement or an informal invitation to dinner at their home. If preferred, dinner at a nice restaurant is always in order. This may be with or without the couple in attendance.
If the parents live far away, a friendly letter is appropriate. A snapshot of the family and maybe even one of her son as a small child is always welcomed by the bride's mother and is a kind gesture.
The importance of providing an accurate and timely guest list can neither be over emphasized, nor the importance of sticking to the guidelines given her as to the number of guests she many invite. Remember to include zip codes.
It is the bride's mother who will first select a dress for her daughters wedding. The mother of the groom then chooses a gown of complimentary color and similar styling. She must wear long if the bride's mother wears long or short if she wears short. The color should not match the bridesmaids, nor the brides' mother, but compliment both.

RULES OF ETIQUETTE FOR MOTHER’S ATTIRE

• Tradition holds that the mother of the bride chooses a dress first, followed by the mother of the groom. Their dresses should complement each other, as well as the bridal party. For instance, having one mother in a floor length dress and another in a mini-skirt is a major no-no. Likewise, your mother wearing an orange dress next to your bridesmaid’s light green ensembles are bound to make your wedding pictures look tacky. While your moms shouldn’t be wearing the same style and color, their dresses should coordinate.
• Generally, at formal weddings, your mother and mother-in-law should be in floor or tea-length dresses. Semi-formal or informal weddings allow them to get more creative with the length, but they still need to make sure they are complementing one another.
• Unless your bridesmaids will be wearing black, a mother of the bride or groom should avoid this color. Until recently, black at weddings was considered a social blunder and many guests will still look at the color choice with suspicion. Steer them away from choosing a color that will raise eyebrows as to whether or not they approve of the marriage.
• Don’t forget to finish the look with a matching corsage or a small bouquet

WHO PAYS FOR WHAT?

OKAY, THE REALLY BIG QUESTION? WHO PAYS FOR WHAT?
Working out a budget for your wedding is one of the first things that should be done, once the date is set. Will the ceremony be formal, semiformal or informal? Who pays for what? Unlike a decade ago, the lines are no longer rigidly drawn. Some modern social rules are obvious (no invitations, no exceptions) and some less so (pregnant brides/unwed mothers are not supposed to wear a veil).
There are no longer any hard and fast rules as to "Who Pays for What", but a general guideline follows as to the traditional breakdown:

Bride's Family:
All Reception Costs
Church Fees
Groom's Rings
Invitations
Flowers for Church, Bridesmaids and Reception
Music for Ceremony
Transportation for Bridal Party
Gifts for Bridal Party
Groom's Gift
Lodging for Bridesmaids, if necessary
Bridal Party:
Your Attire
The Shower
If you're from out-of-town, Transportation to the Town the wedding is in
Gift for the Couple
Groom's Family:
Bride's Ring
Clergy Fees
Bride's Bouquet, Corsages and Boutonnieres
Rehearsal Dinner
Transportation for Groomsmen
Gifts for Groomsmen
Bride's Gift
Lodging for Groomsmen, if necessary
Groomsmen:
Your Attire
The Stag
If you're from out-of-town, Transportation to the Town the wedding is in
Gift for the Couple

INVITATIONS & CHILDREN (OR NOT)

It is considered poor taste to have the invitation clarify “no children”. It also begs the questions, “How old is a child?” Does this means 12 or under? You may want to add a note apologizing and clarifying that the request was made for monetary concerns. If you are resolute in this decision, then stick to your own rule; any exceptions will result in hurt feelings. When addressing your invitations, leave the children’s names off and don’t mention them in the invitation. Also, have friends and family pass the word…let the network work.

If you don't want children at your wedding, you have 2 options:
* When addressing your invitations, leave the children's names off it and also don't mention them in the invitation.
* Have friends and family pass the word around that you don't want children there.

Just how many people really know or understand etiquette? In some cases you have to cut straight to the chase and say what you mean. We suggest adding one of these phrases to the bottom of your reply card:
* Adult Reception
* We hope that the (# of) of you will be able to join us
* (# of) seats have been reserved in your names